An exerpt from the message board by me....for those that don't visit the board.

Yanno, I've been thinking....a friend on the board and I were talking about how the married woman is buying into her ex's "trapped" story. Well, so did my ex's new gf. I'm sure anyone he's spoken to has thought the same. I find it interesting that our sisters are so quick to buy into the cliche.

Last night I was having dinner with a friend. Sitting behind me was a man talking to his new wife or girlfriend and a male friend about how he "wasn't going to pay child support to Marlene if it's the last thing I do. I don't want that woman to have one dime of my money. Then, the Bitch went and got on welfare and the state came after me. I didn't tell her to go on welfare, so why they comin after me?" This man's girlfriend was defending his actions to the other man at the table. I just don't see how she can see this guy as a winner.

First of all, "Marlene" isn't getting the money- his KIDS would benefit from this money, or suffer from his whacked out notion that his money is going to "her". Well, it took all I had not to turn around and poke his eyes out with my chopsticks.

Children are the most important commodity we have for our future. They ARE the future. Society's attitude regarding our children is really pathetic. We have women who admire men that are deadbeat losers. Men who probably also came from fatherless homes (either mentally or physically) who perpetuate their screwed up childhood and lovingly hand it down to their next generation.

Going over the restaraunt scene in my head, I asked myself if I have ever been the supportive woman sitting across the table of a deadbeat dad. All the while, feeling sorry for his dilemma and blaming the other woman for "trapping" him. Although I can't remember specifics, I'm sure I am guilty of buying into this in the past. Of course I won't anymore. Sure, there are women out there just lookin for the bucks, but I'm sorry, had I wanted the big money from child support, I wouldn't have "trapped" an unemployed man.

I get angry with the past,with the ex and the events which led to our demise.He always comes out smellin' like a rose to all of his adoring fans. I wonder why it bothers me...I'll get over it, but I thought "wow, what if my son thinks he's the greatest thing-even though he only sees him once a year....and here I am doing all the grunt work." But I think, without my help or information, my son will grow up to know what's the real deal.

I came to this conclusion. If you want to know the true character of a person you've just met - ask their grown child about them.

Oh and any man who says he got "trapped" is an irresponsible idiot. Get a vasectomy or keep it in your pants. Women have a "choice" and so do you.

(stepping off soap box)